Mock death note

As promised here, this is what I would say in a letter to my cat, Cecilia.


Dear Cecilia, Cece, Miu Miu, kitton,

Oh my darling crook face, I’m sorry I’ve gone away now. Do you believe in duality? If it comforts you, I hope you do. If my mind is floating in the Ether, somewhere in heaven or hell or stuck forever in between, know that regardless, I am thinking about you and your crazed blue eyes. How you made me laugh every day with your scampering, your hunting meow, that unbelievably fluffy tail and the way you would nose your bowl halfway across the apartment in your enthusiasm for dry kibbles.

It’s morning now, and you would be curled on the back of your chair — the only place with a few beams of sunlight. Don’t miss me though, don’t think about me at all. I can’t stand the thought that my absence will affect you badly. I’ll leave instructions to have P come every day to hold you until you’re bored of purring. I’ll make sure there are fun bits of trash strewn about for you to bat. I’ll tell them to leave shipping boxes and their packing entrails around for at least a week. And, best of all? I’ll order a fake sink on legs so you can sleep in that and never again have to move because silly humans need the sink for unimportant things.

How were you so soft? I would carry you around, all day, forever if I could. If you’d let me. From the tiny kitten confused about her own bell collar to this daredevil, scaling the kitchen heights — I wish I could be there to see the rest of your story. Will you learn to be coy and sit in the same room but pretend not to notice people? Will you become a lap cat, seeking out the person most allergic to you? Whoever you become, I know that you will enchant everyone you meet with your naive and rather derpy sweetness. Maybe someday you will be ambassador of family felidae. I wish I could hold you one last time, and blink-blink-blink until we both fall asleep. I may be gone but never fear, someone will try to love you as much as I do. Let them, love them, dream in your sunbeam.

A million and a half kisses,

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