I lost her to god

My best friend freshman year of college was religious. I tell people that we aren’t that close anymore because I lost her to god. Then I have to explain “no, no, she isn’t dead… I just lost her to god.”

I really did. At first, it was just a few seconds of silent prayer at mealtimes. Then it was that and church every Sunday. Then there was bible study on Tuesdays as well. Soon, Fridays were also booked with singing in dark auditoriums. By the time her Thursdays were consumed by some other god-praising activity, I didn’t even bother to find out what it was. I had lost her to god.

This was very sad for me. She is an intelligent, talented individual who majored in architecture — one of the most demanding and time-consuming majors. We’d keep each other company through late nights before projects and tests. We ate dinner together most nights and played pranks on our friends. I think we understood each other well. After graduation, she feel even deeper into the god delusion and dedicated her life to writing and performing songs about god. Now, she’s married a pastor and moved across the country. As far as I can tell, she’s a housewife. A housewife to a man who doesn’t understand analogies or first order logic.

To me, this is a fate worse than death. Sometimes I just let people think that my dear friend died. She may as well have. People who let parasitic religious memes dwell that deeply in their minds are nothing more than zombies looking to infect the rest of us. My poor friend.

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